Attraction Marketing Is Like Dating

Attraction Marketing is an integral part of marketing yourself online. But what is it exactly? I'm going to explain it in the most simple way that I can and compare it to dating. There's a book called The Five Love Languages, and it talks about how you feel loved because someone is showing you affection in one of the five aspects that you relate to the best. There are acts of service, gift giving, physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time. And if someone is not giving you one of those things, you may not feel loved. They might be expressing love in a different way. Their way.

This book shows what makes people compatible with one another. And this is the same thing in business. Not everyone is going to mesh with your style of doing things and you're not going to mesh with everyone. Attraction marketing is where you become the hunted instead of the hunter. So again, relating this to dating, imagine, that you were the one being asked out on the dates versus you asking people out on the dates. You become the desired one. That's what everyone wants. That's what makes business a lot easier than you chasing down prospects and people.

In the first three seconds of meeting anyone anywhere - and this includes your Facebook profile - that's when you make an impression, right? The first three seconds. It doesn't matter where you are. Job interview, dinner, date, Facebook profile. People make an assessment on you. So you want to make sure to make a very good first impression. Attraction marketing is like falling in love. It's the same process. Your profile is either going to make people fall in love with you - you as a person, your values, and who you are. And they'll either want to partner with you (as a customer or peer) just like in a romantic relationship - but this will be in business - or they won't. They'll either fall in love with you, or they won't.

Now a quality of what you look for in a mate is similar to what people will be looking for in your profile. When you're looking to date someone, these are the qualities you look for. It's the same thing that you want to have in your Facebook profile with some tweaks.

So first you want someone who's attractive, right? That's the first thing we all think about. Well, is your page attractive? Do you have nice visuals on your page? Is your page appealing to the eye? Are people drawn to it? Do they want to look at it? Or it just boring? Blah? There's no color. There are no graphics. There's just text. You have to make it visually appealing.

Kind. Are you kind on your page? Are you demonstrating any kindness in the way that you interact with people and the things that you post? Are you a kind person? Can they tell that from your profile?

Are you compassionate? Are you showing maybe that there's a greater purpose for why you're doing your business? Maybe there's a greater cause that you're going after and it's being demonstrated through your profile. Maybe you're talking about how you've already made it. And so you're building orphanages or you have goals to. That's a great thing to incorporate.

Smart. Are you smart? Are you educating people? Are they going to get value when they come to your page, either from your live videos or from what you're posting? Are they going to be educated in some way?

Openness and vulnerability. This is super important. Are you showing that you're an open person? That you're vulnerable? This is extremely important for people to connect with you. In your live videos and your page, are you being open? I mean, on a date, wouldn't you want somebody to be open with you? Would you want them to be married with three children - and they say, they're single? Of course not. You don't want to put on a facade, right? You want to be totally transparent, but also vulnerable. You want someone to open up to you on a date. You want people to see that you'll open up to them on your profile. And with that, you have to make your profile public - if you want people to see you that aren't currently your friends and take notice and think "wow, that person really opens up." I've revealed all kinds of things online. If you go back and watch my videos, you'll see there are a lot of personal things I've not held back. I'm like that if you meet me in person, so I'm going to be like that online. That's just who I am.

Honesty and integrity. Are you being honest with your feelings? Are you being honest with the claims that you make on your page? Are you putting up all these pictures of Louis Vuittons, Ferraris and yachts, but it's all a farce and a facade and you're showing wealth, but you can't back that up? If it's your first time in online marketing, you don't have to go out and shout that out with a megaphone. But you do need to be honest and you can't just throw up stuff that's not true because that's just not cool and nobody is going to like that.

And respectful. Do you treat the people who come to your page with respect? Do you show appreciation for them? How you show appreciation is... do you interact with them on your page? Or do you just have this big fan following and you don't care? Well, no one who has a big following is going to be like that because in order to get that following, you have to care about the people on your page. You have to interact with them. That's a very important aspect.

Empathy. Are you empathetic? Are you sensitive to your audience? And do you know what they want? Are you intuitive to what they want? And again, it has to be authentic.

Affectionate. Do you show them that you appreciate them? That you love them? That they're not just a number? That they're not another one of your hundred thousand followers, but that they're actually a valuable person? Do you interact with them sometimes on your page? It's important for me to do this. If you have hundreds of thousands of people, it's probably impossible to respond to everybody. But you want to try and interact as much as you can, especially when you're first starting out. So your audience feels like they're just not there for no reason. They feel valued.

Funny. Do you have a sense of humor? You don't have to be funny, but it's nice when you go to a page and you see some funny things, occasionally, because it gives you a break from life and breaks up the monotony. And no one wants to hear anything negative. It's easy to want to go on your Facebook profile and complain. I know I've done it in the past. We all have. You had a bad day and you want to just rant on your page. Not a good idea. When you're in this profession, the people who are drawn to online marketing are people who are attracted to a positive mindset. They love positive quotes. They love positivity. They love that rah-rah spirit. It's better to make people laugh than cry anyway! So just in general, you want to be positive, but being funny is an additional bonus. Again, it just depends on your personality.

But the last thing of many, many qualities that you could come up with is when you're dating someone... you want somebody who's going to be committed to personal growth, right? Someone who's going to grow. I don't know anyone who wants to date someone who's going to stay stagnant and not become a better person in whatever way. So the people who come to your page want to see self-development. And you want to be working on yourself so that you, in turn, can teach your audience. You need to be committed to personal growth. Otherwise, you're going to have nothing to say, and you're going to bore the hell out of people.

Now, these are just general things that most people look for when they're dating someone. These are some qualities you could go on and on about, and there are even more qualities. However, you can add other things, like maybe you are attracted to someone who's a rebel or someone who's sassy or someone who's spiritual.

So perhaps those are things you want to incorporate on your page because that's who you are. I'm Catholic. In the past, I've posted some Bible scripture. I'm not a Bible thumper by any means, but I totally believe in God. My faith is strong. Nobody could ever make me not believe in Him. It just wouldn't happen. So I've posted some scripture, because it's my religion. I would welcome anybody from any religion on my page, but that's just showing who I am. So maybe I'm going to attract more people who are Christians, just because I'm posting some of those things.

I've posted videos on depression because I had been grieving my mom's death. So again, maybe - and actually it's very likely that - I'm going to attract people who've been through the same thing.

The qualities I first mentioned are just a general consensus of what most people look for in others on dates as well as online. When most people go out there looking for someone, it's someone who's good looking, kind, considerate, funny... So those are things to think about when you're making your profile to have people drawn to you. Just think about it as you would think about dating someone. And how you would present yourself to them. But again, if nothing else, you always need to be authentic. So don't ever lie about who you are. Be who you are, but think about these things when you're creating your profile.

Attraction marketing is drawing people to you and these are aspects of what someone would look for to be attracted to in a person like you, for your values and your beliefs. They'll just think you're cool and want to get to know you better. Just like when you meet friends and you have friendships, you're drawn to people for certain reasons. It's no different online.

Want more deets on how to attract people to you on an even deeper level with your personal story and branding? Check out my free 3-part video training series: "Make An Impact."

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