Fear Of Failure

Written by Tarla Makaeff

It is soooo easy for us to doubt ourselves especially when others might doubt us. But I want to encourage you to throw caution to the wind and forget what your ego is telling you - that you're not good enough, that you'll look ridiculous if you fail or get rejected. 'Cause, girl, that is NOT you.

First of all, you ARE good enough. We all have special talents and skills that no one else on earth can claim. Why? Because we are all as unique as our DNA. Sure there might be other people who have your talents, but no one can exercise them the way you can...I pinkie promise. It's important to remember that. You were created to make your own special mark on this world, and you can't do that if you're afraid to take a chance. You can't live up to your infinite potential that way. You can lose millions of wonderful things happening to you and even potentially millions of dollars. Seriously.

Next, I know what you're thinking. What if you fail or get rejected, you'll look ridiculous or as I like to say "cray." Not so much, and here's why. You can't ever get to where you want to go if you don't try. So there is no getting around that. You just have to step out of your comfort zone and get your 'lil patooty moving. Now failure is an interesting thing. Do you know the thousands of times mega successful people failed before they made it? Oh, let us count the ways.

Thomas Edison was told he was "too stupid to learn anything." He was fired from his first two jobs for being "non-productive." And he made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. But for all the falling down he did, he fell toward success when he actually did invent the light bulb. Here's to dreaming. 

Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor who told him he "lacked imagination and had no good ideas." Not only was his proposed park of Disneyland rejected by the city of Anaheim due to fears it would draw an undesirable crowd, but he went bankrupt several times before he built the world famous park. Whoa!

After Harrison Ford's first performance as a hotel bellhop in Dead Heat on a Merry-Go-Round, he was compared to Tony Curtis who had a similarly small part in a movie where he delivered groceries. The studio VP told Ford, "we took one look at him and knew he was a movie star." Then he dismissed Ford by saying "you ain't got it kid, you ain't got it...now get out of here." Of course, as you know, Ford has gone on to have an insanely illustrious career.

J.K. Rowling's book about a boy wizard, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, was rejected by 12 publishers before a small London house picked it up. It then went on to become a worldwide phenomenon. Excusez-moi while I pick myself off the ground laughing from this amazing comeback.

These types of stories of people we revere are endless. It's just the only time we've known them was after the many years of struggles and challenges. We didn't see all the ugly that came before the pretty. They didn't just start at the top, and neither will you. Got it, love?

What was so different about them than other people who fail and give up? Their attitude. They persevered despite the most difficult times with mottos of "somebody stop me!" and obviously no one could. Few are willing to do that which is why few can claim the status of mega success.

So you really have to ask yourself how bad do you want this, beauty? If the answer is not all that much, then pursue something else that won't take as much hard work or effort. But if you really want it, you've got to dig in, mess up your manicure, go after it with abandon, and give it everything you've got. Because that's the only way you will ever see success.

Sure, there are the lucky few that don't struggle and just luckily fall into a phenomenal career, but that is an anomaly and not the norm. Don't rely on that type of thinking that involves shortcuts. It won't serve you well. If you're like most of us, expect to work hard and reap amazing rewards later. In the end, you will be glad that you've had to take the more challenging path. You know why, girlfriend? Because you will know you did it, and you did it all on your own - without any luck. It was all you, baby!

Now, let me share with you risks I took that made a huge impact on my life. If you take a chance, it's amazing where you can end up.

I pursued acting which got me on sets and in major movies with bit roles or extra parts. I interned at the CBS soap The Bold And The Beautiful in the production department, you could see me regularly in Bikini Bar scenes as well as as a double in part of one of the most famous catfights in soap opera history (between Lauren and Sheila). I also appeared in The Young And The Restless and Days Of Our Lives. That's not to mention other fun experiences involving Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz as well as the old 90210 cast. This just literally from applying places and taking a chance. 

I then moved to the famous OC from LA for a copywriting job which is where I met my future clients whereby I went on to earn multiple six figures a year freelance copywriting. This would never have happened if I didn't move away from home, which was out of my comfort zone despite maybe not being a big deal to others. I know, boo, I'm a little attached to LaLa Land.

I then purchased a house from a realtor who wanted to do a shoe line with me. We flew to Sao Paolo, Brazil to produce our collection. I had no idea what I was doing at first. But this eventually led me to Bangkok, Thailand and Milan, Italy where I ended up being a VIP delegate with the Italian Trade Commission of NY for a gala through one of the largest footwear trade shows.

Then I looked into fit modeling - clothes are fit on a regular mannequin and a live mannequin (model). I had a friend who made a great living doing it. So I sent out pictures, and the first agent I met sent me on my first go-see where I got booked on my first job, a denim job. Shortly after, I booked another job where I was sent out of state with a group of LA and NY based models making $2500 a day.

You cannot be scared of failure otherwise you'll never get anywhere. I could have talked myself out of all of this. I'm not an actress, I'm not a writer, I'm not model (I'm just 5'5"), I'm not a designer (I didn't gone to FIDM). No, I don't limit my potential. E.V.A.H.

But not everything paid off for me. I legit don't care even though if it did, it would have been huge. As I mentioned, I interned at The Bold And The Beautiful. The head writer said to stay in touch, and I didn't stupidly. My copywriting career took off and there didn't seem a reason to as I'd taken a different path. Over a year ago, I wrote him a letter and said why I didn't stay in touch. I told him I was interested in writing for the show - just starting out as an assistant (which was far below my capabilities). I sent a spec script and they didn't read it for liability purposes which I knew about and should have remembered (they could get sued by me if they used my idea). But do you see me ugly crying about it? Mais non, cherie. Because what if they had said come in? That would have been ah.ma.zing.

So like you can see, like everyone else, there are big things I tried that I failed at, yet I don't care. And neither should you. My motto is "who cares?" No one does. You're likely the only one who would. Everyone else is too busy to notice, and even if they do, who cares!!

If you're scared of being in online marketing take a chance because you can mess up and fall down, but you will be in no worse a position, only possibly a better one. Most likely you won't fail if you keep at it and don't give up, you might just eventually succeed. But you need to plug along past the bumps and the difficult times. People don't want to suffer - they don't want to wait - so they go straight to easy fix solutions. They try to eliminate going through the hard times in life and that's what makes you a stronger person. You're doing yourself a disservice to grow into the beautiful human you were destined to be.

Never forget that if you're scared of failure, the only person you are hurting is yourself. On their death bed, people say they regret not having taken more chances in life. But then it's too late. Your life could be over tomorrow. No one's invincible. We need to make the most of the limited amount of time we are here for. There are no guarantees, sista.

I know I said it but I'm gonna say it again because I need you to hear this, snowflake! If you fail, you're in no worse a position than if you hadn't tried at all. You're a better person if you try something - it builds character and will make you stronger in the long run. So go flex that fierceness that resides deep within you!

Want to to flex your mindset too so you can say buh-bye to self-doubt? Then, it all starts with emotional healing and my Self-Love coaching is the place to start.