Puffy Eyes + Brain Freeze (And Copywriting)


I spent the night bawling my eyes out. Gorging on pints of Belgian chocolate and mint gelato. Watching “Something’s Gotta Give” on repeat.

And now, you want to know why. Why I was (recklessly) smearing my mascara, eating for two, and watching Erica Barry scream-sob as she writes her screenplay while listening to “Je Cherche Un Homme.”

This is what the right kind of copywriting can do for you. It can bring your audience right in from momento uno.

It can leave a - great - lasting first impression.

But often we start with (yawn) boring first lines. Let’s equate that to showing up to your high school reunion in oversized sweats, rubber slip on sandals, and a messy top knot with 3 inch roots (which only works if you're Kim K). Oh no, she didnnnnnnnn’t. 

But she did, and you do. Every.Single.Flippin’.Time.You.Write.Blaaaaaaahhh.First.Lines.

‘Cause, boo, I can turn on my TV and get more thrills from a Depends commercial. And so can your old flame across the room.

So make sure your copy always starts with something that is catchy. Something that will make ‘em want to read more because they just have to know what you are talking about or how it turned out.

Or just show up with a backless midi dress, suede booties, and freshly dyed hair in a chignon (to your high school reunion, that is). Even Romy and Michele would be proud.

But srsly, take whatever sentence you’ve written to start off with, and dress it up. Like it’s going to the Oscars in a V-neck plunging, floor-skimming sequined dress.

Like…

Before:

He leaned in and told me I had food in my teeth.

After:

He leaned closely into me just like Jack with Rose in the Titanic. Then he said in a breathy whisper that nearly caressed my neck, “you have lettuce in your teeth.”

Before:

We picked a peach colored paint that I hated.

After:

We picked “Blushing Peach” - a paint color that immediately made me think: barf emoji.

Before:

I’m anal.

After:

Every morning, I wake up at 5:55 am. I roll to the edge of my California king, and scroll my emails for 4 minutes. I survey the condition of my 800 thread count sheets for 1 minute. At 6am, I take an 18 minute tepid shower, leaving 2 minutes for my blueberry facial to sit while I brush my teeth. After a cold rinse, I jump out and examine my skin in the magnifying mirror. No pre-PMS zits today. I bundle up in my fluffy white Turkish cotton robe - and get some coffee. Black with 1.5 teaspoons of sugar.

See? First lines can suck you in, just the way Spanx do.

P.S. - Wanna get your copy seen just like the it girl at the latest Martin Scorsese party? Check out my Creative Copy Code course coming soon.